To everyone who has seen my work progress through the years..
I need some honest opinions.
I feel as though, although im satisfying myself through my art in that iv made my work have purpose and meaning, being able to channel my emotions and thoughts into what I produce.. i feel as though im not getting the same responses and reactions as my old work. People I know would pick out my best pieces as the old ones. Though to me, my old artwork were just portraits and nothing more. They didnt mean much but the sheer fact that i appreciated individuality and people who shown that. My work currently may be digitalised but it still is me.

Im just asking, and I need some answers... which do you guys prefer? Meaningless but pretty or meaningful but less fun and colourful? New or old?

thanks again for everyones time, truly appreciate it.xoxox

words dont count for shit anymore

my friend tells his girlf he loves her all the time
hes cheated on her twice

'i love you..' does that count anymore?
is it the truth?

time and time again my hearts broken, im disappointed, im told im loved..
im told things will work, things will be fixed...
why tell me empty lies
tell me empty promises

words dont count for shit no more

people often joke about time, their own time, their lifetime, the time they have left in life.In the months that I havent been around to write a new journal entry, my uncle has fallen gravely ill that has bed ridden him for about 3 months now. Unable to talk, swallow, drink, eat, walk and move his right side, he went from a fully capable human being to skin and bone. To make matters worse though, he is full concious... watching four walls as the world rotates before his very eyes.

When you see life being consumed from someone you know very well, it begins to make you doubt yourself, your abilities, your goals, your lifelong dream and when 'really' your time is up?

I know so many people who are caught up in the less important things in life, the money, the parties, the sex, the games, the 'fun' and often dont find the time to look up, see and smile. But yet... am I one of them? Am i one of those so called "people" that procrastinate and postpone people and events and catchups with those i love because i think i will have time later? I began to steadily realise its only a matter of minutes if not seconds that something can flip your world upside down as well as those close to you. I always used to sit and worry, sit and say 'nah' when really the world was right there waiting for me. If you arent already aware, times ticking..

I dont want this to be a pessimistic journal entry like those i wrote before, i want this to be one where you react 'here you kno what, shes right, i think ill call this person up and have a well needed talk, i think ill organise something with old friends to see how everyone is, i think ill.....' its well worth the time and effort, trust me! Life is indeed vunerable and a pity if you dont make your life the way you want it. If you appreciate your time, make use of every second.. there will definately be no regrets. Im starting now.. are you??

hey guys its been a while since i uploaded a new journal entry. Iv just been pretty bored as its the summer and robins away to camp. I have been occupying my time doing a few things, but just not enough to distract me from boredom. Though really the fact that my other half is away at camp and iv had time alone, ive had a lot of time to really sit down and ponder. Knowing me i think bout the little things in life as if they wer big things and vise versa.

I went to visit my friend in hospital today, since birth he has been diagnosed with cystic fibrosis. Hes currently 18, coming on 19... and from medical history.. that gives him about 10 years maximum to live. But most cystic fibrosis sufferers only last til 25 before their kidneys and liver begin to fail. Im telling you this not to gain sympathy for him, nor for myself. As upsetting as it is and a scary thought that id one day hear that Chris is dead. It gives me then more the reason to appreciate both him and my close friends and family. He may be alive and kicking now, but even still, he has taught me a lot in life and really set it straight. he's always thought of doing animation, studying abroad.. and even still thought and aspired to so many things in life. I walked into his room today and he sat on his bed dressed in his urban outfitters and topman stuff, sleeves rolled up, injecting himself with numerous syringes of clear fluid. To me it was all so alien.. he had a box of tablets and syringes and multiple medication to take, but yet to him it was like everyday life. Like taking a drink or eating sumthing like as if it was necessary to survive. I was the only one there to visit, and i asked him when his parents wer coming to see him, or his brother.. and he replied laughing,
'my brothers never been in this hospital, my dad doesnt come cus he cant cope and my mum, well, she might be coming tonight!'

When i had an operation, my parents and sammi took a day off work to come see me, get me cosy and make sure i was never faced with the situation of talking to four walls and myself. Since that time i had always expected my parents HAD to do all this for me, like if they didnt, i would be lonely, heartbroken and unhappy. But when your son or daughter has a long term illness such as cf. Would my parents have quit their jobs to look after me? i wouldn't know. I just know my parents really do love me and every minor detail, they put so much effort into it. If i was the one landed with cf, my parents may not be able to come and see me all the time. But as for Chris, he still remains happy even though as a spectator, i would say his parents dont act like loving ones. But i realised.. you know.. who am i to say that. Chris has never doubted his parents, never felt like they didnt care.. because they do. It may not seem it.. but to someone like me that only knows what goes on surface deep, i can only learn from it and realise just how much my family care about me.

This journal may be very long, so those who have read to this point. I have sum more to write bout.
Since i started going out with Robin, ive never once had to deal with him not being around, in the house, watchin a film.. the usual chat.
Its until he has left, and isnt around that i realised just how much we as ppl take advantage of those around us, and take advantage of time. When he is around my house, not doing much.. we may get bored and just treat it like any other day. when he isnt around, i just realise just how much i miss his presense. Its not the idea that we HAVE to do certain things and go out to be happy, its the company.. the presence.. that nothing else you do, or no one can replace. Ive been reading a book recently by a guy called Jon Nicholson. He lost his other half to bone cancer and wrote one heck of a book. He doesnt write it in a way that he wants to make people sympathise. He tells you straightforward and vividly and factually, how it takes one day to turn your life upside down, one day to steal those close to you away from you, one illness and disease to turn the person you love into someone you've never met and just one illness just to deteriorate that persons life from an active fun loving woman, to the weak and a continually angry human being. Ive never liked the thought of losing a second half... its different when you split up with them, from losing them to the point that they are never ever retrievable. I dont know if my other half will be Robin, but if it is i truly understand what it means to use every day like its your last. I also closely follow, this writer samantha warwick.. (back of grazia magazine-to all uk readers who may know) she pointed out one thing after coming to a realisation herself after losing her other half.

'if you are currently with someone you dont love, then leave them.Really. Give them and yourself a chance to be loved by someone else. If your single, ring your best friend and tell them how much you care. We all deserve to be happy and make someone else happy. never ever leave it till the last minute - because like me and Rob - you may not get a last minute.'

4 hours 17 minutes spent talking to robin.
we chilled, we sat... and i doubted and questioned per usual.
Its not often people can talk openly about how they feel, and often with much difficulty. Its not often you come across a person, any person and feel that theyv taken you from rock bottom and helped you get back on track with life.

Its true to say, once i gave my life to God, nothing and i mean nothing has gone wrong to the point where it used to be.

Openly admit, i mislead what love was in the past. mistook it to be sex, mistook it to be desire and lust for one another... and still you kno what? from time to time i still even think that. But it really isnt that at all, besides from being with the person you want to be with the most, its about comfort, about effort, about time and appreciation.

Cliche as this may sound, and to those who strongly have something against God... believe me when i say this..
He sent robin to me, guided me to Him and told me everything will be alright. Not through words and talk... through action and through events that take place. If God didnt exist and people lived by chance and luck, would all the great things suddenly have happened to me after the very day i chose to believe in Him?

people reading this now may think pfffft like barely anythings happened to georgie, shes just got it all in her head. Im telling you now, the sense of faith and knowing that life is good and everything will be sweet in the end isnt just an illusion. Its not until you become a christian, will you notice the dramatic difference.

you know, Robin wasnt who i thought he was.. hes much better you know. And tonight i sat up with him wondering if he had kissed me enough recently! lol how sad of me to think love is determined by how much he kisses me.. Mind you im still a bit messed up from my past relationships, but he sat and explained and being clear about what he knows is right and the truth.. he does love me, i love him and we have nothing to fear whatsoever. I questioned problems that didnt even exist because i got scared, worried that this was just another repeat of everything that messed with my head before.

At the end of the day, only God knows just what path i must follow, and Robin? Hes a guy that came along to show me just how..